July 17, 2017
SATURDAY
what is saturday?
A day to pray
a day to rejig
a day to restrategize
a day to refocus, to maximize
when is saturday?
A day to reconvene, for house chores
a day to appear gorgeous
a day to appear nigh to church (sabbath)
which is saturday?
A day that succeeds friday
a day that precceeds sunday
a day he rested after creation. From dark zone
a day he commanded us to rest and keep sacrosanct
who is saturday?
A wo/man that's got to pray
a wo/man that's got to work, harder
on a saturday evening
on a saturday evening
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July 09, 2017
I woke up heading straight for my phone, I checked the time on my device it was 12:09pm, I had slept my entire morning today and it wasn't funny. friends were already in the parlour, I don't remember dreaming, I don't remember nothing just sleep sleep sleep. I felt the whole of today was wasted and nothing good could come out from a wasted morning already, I was also reluctant to publish any article on this blog, I just wanted things to go the way it had been during those sad days. But come to think of it, it is indeed Sunday and my sleep was probably due to the time I slept 5:56am, maybe I don't want to blame myself for being lazy lol, but it is true to some extent.
After checking the time and with all those lazy hitting of the bed and using the pillow to cover my face, I realized thirty minutes was gone already, 'so what am I to do or write or even say today' I asked myself. With my phone in my hand I swerved on my Facebook page and replied crazily to crazy comments on my post, but wait a minute I had to pray, I did pray and I got this push to do anything. Nothing is ever bad as we think it is it, might be waking up to see no hope on getting a meal or even no hope on getting to that place or doing what you want, but how do you know there is no hope?. Now am stucked with getting my shoe laced and doing those act of valor, today was a day so is every other day, if you think today is not meant to be try playing God for one minute, you will just be disappointed on how the humans you created aren't greatful.
Be greatful no matter how your day started and how wasted it seems, only dead men don't have hopes.
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July 08, 2017
There are those days when you be all weak and you want to just be all day like that, there are times when you run out of motivation and it makes you look down on yourself, and there is that period when so many kinds of events keep occurring and you just loose focus on all things. That have been the case for me and my interrupted postings here, I get to here those "don't give up motivation shit" but now I really see it as you not relenting, but rather you learning through the hurdles of it all. Being creative also have a break of its own don't feel frustrated when it comes, that's what have learnt from it all with the situations that all appeared in from of me, those condemnation and living up to the social status that family and friends always spit at your face with their examplary lifestyles. It all gets shaded with you getting depressed by it all; My life during the sad days went this way.
I saw a snake twice no one believed they all said my fantasy was the cause of it, but later it was being discovered it didn't give me joy as it was discovered, what if it wasn't found I guess probably they will forever tag me Steph the seer of things that was never discovered SMH.
My life has been spinning since then with me being caught between a chase of theft and an issue with disloyalty, people close to you can be the ones who do crazy stuffs to you, they don't wish you well menh just based on the issues on my sad days.
I got myself into a great depression due to absurdities and arrows directed to my heart while my eyes were wide open, I saw who and the person jeered at the pleasure of it all with sarcasm, spite and hate. What did I do to deserve this? This question and others kept coming through my mind while I wallow in pain on my bed.
My daily activities was hindered too with no purpose nor directions I was caught in a spider web, my personal diary is been left aching for informations and my privacy while my blog looked scanty as ever, with all this in mind I sat down philosophizing about My life.
Have lost it all I said to myself today at about 21:09pm, after updating my flipboard magazine and being a much of an opinion airer on my Facebook page, I just remembered my wattpad story just three and I really can't understand myself no more. I really don't want to end today like the way have wasted others my Aura most flow into me again, and that's how I am able to write this article, wasted/sad days ain't wasted afterall.
Lesson learnt from it all..
.Am not afraid to give up, it only makes me human.
.Wasted days are also learning days.
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June 13, 2017
It's been awhile I posted here, it was all due to my incapabilities, my hands couldn't move nor could I work properly. My self discovery mission came as like a quick notice being sent by the NEPA officials. I know you might not know what this means, the journey has been all but a blink, times passes but I want this one to pass more quickly. The molten heats my heart, my inner consciousness starves, it is in need of some kind of redemption maybe freedom. Freedom from what you might ask, it's a long story always a long story, but just know I won't even want even my enemies to face this. The path wasn't narrow nor smooth like I hoped, everything gets better, don't they? It definitely will by faith.
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June 08, 2017
You should think of how you can.
You need to learn how to be resilient.
The storm will always come.
After the storm sweeps away all those irrelevant things, that still wants to stay.
Those spectrum of colors will shine definitely.
Allowing the morrow come, it will surely come.
But how do you welcome it?
If you don't stay strong during the storm, you won't get to see the rainbow.
Am talking about giving up, the usual nuggets are all becoming boring and too much.
You don't need to listen to it, you don't need to believe in it.
But believe in yourself, that's all it takes.
Imagine giving up during the hard times, when the good times come you won't get to enjoy it.
Maybe you won't get to see it, because you gave up on it all.
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PERSONAL HEADACHES
"You deserve to be head boot", that's a way of saying you need to get your lazy butt up. Would you believe if I told you, that I got many other blogs like three of em!, but my old ass didn't pay no attention always caught in the den of deciding; whether to talk with the lion or just let it eat me up. I have been reluctant, because I didn't know how simple it was, to be able to express yourself with a large space like this. The room feels empty, no fuqrniture nor clean up done, it looks impossible to be able to carry own like this.
Owing a blog newly, it's an empty,dusty, room space which is just being acquired and indeed of a clean up. All my abandoned blogs, I look at them like extra loads just pilling up in my blogger account, owing too much unfinished projects is stressful. With this thoughts flooding in my mind, owning a blog is a lot. Then I come to a close.
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June 05, 2017
Where will my strength come from? "Like seriously why am I asking this question, abi your strength is not your thing again", this is no doubt the reply you will get from a Nigerian friend. Most times the guilt within you gets aggravated, by their sarcastic reply, this includes them telling you how your story can't be compared to theirs; like it's a competition. Some drive you so crazy with motivation takes of how they survived, instantly switching the story automatically to theirs, it gets annoying the more when they start drawing comparisons. "Like aunty I didn't tell you to say all these things". That's how my mind is when they continue, I don't want you to tell me how you scale through, all I just want form you is to hold me and be my strength. I have been trying so hard to let go of so many things, I keep on finding my strength, if my strength is with you; please I don't mind you giving me some of it; please again cut small of my strength for me.
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